So my boss likened himself to Michael Jordan last week. Yep…
After a good bit of head scratchin’, said noggin got to thinking of funny and far-out quotes down through the years. I love quotables and that’s not just the former/sometimes journalist in me talking. We hold up the legendary “quotesmiths” in politics (Churchill), literature (Twain) and sports (from Yogi Berra to Valvano and Bowden), but to me it’s really about anybody letting their guard down or giving us a look into their mind – beautiful or innocent, comical and/or off kilter – a sampling of their soul.
Not surprisingly, the following quotes fall into the funny category:
My father to a good family friend as we rode a Colorado ski lift up the mountain and plotted the path of, well, most resistance down it. In other words, they wanted nothing of black & blue runs or physical toll. My dad, who still recites this one today given the proper context, has thanked me for catching it before the moment and comment slipped off into oblivion.
• “I want my burger cooked well done. Red meat is bad for you.”
A fellow junior golf student had a precocious grasp of nutrition.
• “Your car has strange breath.”
My 5-year-old commenting recently in her own very unique way on the aroma in my Saturn, a special blend of old gym towel, still-not-deposited recyclables, empty but unrinsed beer growler and other things not so savory.
• “You are slow. I leave you now.”
A college classmate friend and I were hiking from Alaska into Canada in 2001 when we intermittently would come into contact with a lone, foreign male adventurer, who in all of his awesome German bluntness offered this one up when we Americans were deemed not up to his hiking standards. Later on that day, in classic tortoise-and-the-hare fashion we passed “Helmut” who had decided to set up camp a few miles short of our stopping point.
• “Did you impregnate my card?”
Did my Uncle Bud mean swipe his credit card when he said this to a hotel front desk clerk? Or did he want his room key card activated? All I know is that Miller Lite was likely a factor.
• “We apologize for any incontinence this may cause you.”
The close of a building-wide yet very personal memo from the facility maintenance team announcing a parking lot remediation project at my old office.