Top 5 Traditions (I’ve Never Understood)

22 Nov

Turkeys aren’t limited to the dining room table.

1. Black Friday — Isn’t the purpose of Thanksgiving weekend to relax, decompress, sleep in, enjoy your family’s company and count your blessings? This cacophony of consumerism runs counter to all those good things.

2. Parades — Besides the one in “Animal House,” is there really such a thing as a good parade? With a 4-year-old and a second daughter on the way, yes, I’m fully prepared to lose this battle.

3. Carrot Cake —  Why bother with this when there’s pumpkin pie, pecan pie, my mother’s lemonade cake, my sister-in-law’s white chocolate chip pumpkin cookies, banana bread and so many other better, more tasty options?!? Did I mention pumpkin pie?

4. ESPN GameDay — By this I mean those who wake up early to wait in line to gather behind the set for hours so that maybe, just maybe a TV camera will catch a glimpse of them or their sign over the shoulder of Chris, Lee and Kirk. Am I missing something here? Do they launch money into the crowd during commercial breaks?

5. NBA on Christmas Day — While on the sports subject, there are folks who get excited about NBA games on this wonderful holiday. Even worse, there are people who actually attend these games?!? Priorities, people!


2 Responses to “Top 5 Traditions (I’ve Never Understood)”

  1. Greg C. November 29, 2012 at 4:49 pm #

    I’ve never actually understood Christmas Trees. They require that we cut down trees (unless you go artificial). We then decorate them with glass balls and other trinkets that we have to carefully store for the rest of the year. The needles get everywhere. They take forever to decorate, and later undecorate (if that’s a word). Then you have to get rid of the tree, which doesn’t seem to happen until mid-January. I understand the history of the tradition, it’s just that decorating a tree is about my least favorite way to spend time, and the result, to me, isn’t really appealing in any artistic sense (I don’t think Christmas trees are ugly, per se, but I certainly don’t look upon them with any particular admiration).

    I’m all about Christmas lights, mulled wine, quality time with friends and family, and the spirit of giving that comes with the season. Just don’t involve me in your tree installation and decoration – I’ll find another place to store my presents on Christmas morning.

    I also probably think your wreath is dumb too. 🙂

    I guess that makes me a Scrooge, especially since I despise Christmas music too (if it were actually any good, we’d hear it year round), but it’s actually my favorite holiday.


  1. My Top 5 ‘Top 5’ Posts [*with participation contest*] | bleeveblog - March 31, 2016

    […] 5) Top 5 Traditions (I’ve Never Understood) […]

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